adobe flash player and javascript required for full enjoyment

The Maelstrom.

The Maelstrom was another naturally occurring yet intermittent gateway allowing transgression directly to The Automatic Wasteland (much to the Yard Sailor's dismay).

Maelstrom (Wikipedia)


Mel's Hole.

One of the few naturally occurring portals between dimensions, my rediscovery of this phenomenon provided extremely valuable data for further research into the Fontaine-Bleu Zipline Generator.

Mel's Hole (Wikipedia)
Aspects of Mel's Hole
- Artists Respond to a Paranormal Land Event
Occurring in Radiospace

The Bottomless Hole, The Handsome Family
"My name, I don't remember
Though I hail from Ohio
I had a wife and children
Good tires on my car
What took me from my home
And put me in the Earth
Was the mouth of a deep dark hole
I found behind my barn

We'd been filling it with garbage
As long as you could count
Kitchen scraps and dead cows
Tractors broken down
But never did I hear one thing hit the ground
And slowly I came to fear
That this was a bottomless hole"

written by Brett & Rennie Sparks


from Stephen Hawking

M. Fontaine-Bleu's discovery is unrivalled in the history of theoretical physics. He has bypassed the Grand Unified Theory and gone directly to the Ultimate Unified Theory.


from Neil deGrasse Tyson

His integration of Solipsism as a central tenet of the UUT ushers in a wondrous new era in the exploration of this universe and others.



from Dr. Franklin Ruehl

Host of Mysteries from Beyond the Other Dominion

Phenomenal! Astounding! Of course he stole most of his work from my decades of research but it is still phenomenal and astounding.



Research Note #1

Schrodinger's cat gives us the first clue. The imprisoned feline remains both dead and alive until the box is opened and the probability wave collapses. I thought that if I could make myself believe, truly convince myself that I am both here and elsewhere at the same time; cast off the neuro-psychological bonds that lock us into place and time; believe without reservation in a probabilstic existence, the portal would become clearer. And yes, it did. But that was only the first halting step.


On Reality #1

What is reality?
I am a plaster doll; I pose
with eyes that cut open without landfall or nightfall
upon some shellacked and grinning person,
eyes that open, blue, steel, and close.
Am I approximately an I. Magnin transplant?
    - Anne Sextom